Learning To Listen: The 'Paradox Of Potential' Solution

“What is the best business advice you ever received?” is a question I am asked nearly every day. It is an interesting question but one that can be challenging to answer with clarity and certainty. After all, I have always aggressively pursued and been fortunate to receive advice, information and feedback from many people during my corporate and entrepreneurial careers.

Is it possible to synthesize, filter or otherwise narrow down all that information into a single piece of advice? A recent experience I had allows me to emphatically answer “yes!”

I was a guest on Thom Singer’s podcast “Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do,” and Thom spoke about an interesting concept he called “the paradox of potential.” He defined it as the gap between an individual’s potential and the real results they are getting in their careers. I continued to reflect on this idea long after the podcast ended. What were the key behaviors and skills that were responsible for the results I had achieved in my business career? The answer to that question was easy and clear: I developed and deploy great listening skills.

Why listening? A successful business excels at finding solutions to resolve client or company “problems” or to develop solutions that make it more productive, efficient and competitive in the marketplace. As a leader at any level, in any organization, of any size, in any industry, can you find solutions effectively and profitably without listening to your clients or team? My answer would be “no,” but I am frequently approached to coach leaders of organizations who believe and practice the opposite.

Two of the topics dominating business discussions today are employee disengagement and developing corporate culture. Are listening skills key to effectively and credibly inspiring the hearts and engaging the minds of those you interact with or lead? They may just be the only thing that can.

A great deal of information is available on the science, tactics and barriers to effective listening. My goal here is to simply share my thoughts and ask some questions to give you the opportunity to think about your listening skills and the value of using the “simple” act of listening to improve your performance, productivity and, ultimately, your results.

Listening is a behavior.

Your behaviors determine your outcomes. Merriam-Webster defines listening as “to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration.” You hear with your ears but can your ears alone convey that you paid “thoughtful attention” to what you just heard?

The person you are listening to is judging your level of “thoughtful attention” by watching your posture, body language, eye contact, your response (or lack thereof) and many other things. Are you an effective, empathetic and engaged listener? How do you know? What data or evidence do you have to validate your listening behaviors? I believe that the biggest barriers to effective listening are one’s own personal attitudes, beliefs and biases.

Listening can lead to comfort. 

Research shows that one of the essential elements of improving organizational culture is the need for people to feel psychologically safe in their workspace. Increasing employee engagement requires improving the leader-team member connection and relationship. Both actions require effective and empathic listening skills.

Empathic listening is the behavior of listening with a willingness to understand the information, situation or problem being discussed and responding accordingly. How do you respond to information being presented to you? If someone delivers bad news, do you listen and then let the person know you really appreciate and need the feedback?

One study found that clinicians interrupt their patients after an average of 11 seconds. Do you frequently interrupt others who are speaking to offer your opinion, or do you, as a leader, speak last?

Which approaches do a better job of conveying you are paying thoughtful attention to what you are hearing?

Listening helps to build your credibility and personal brand. 

If you are in any type of leadership position, your actions and behaviors will determine if your team or organization views you as an ally or enemy. Credibility is every leader’s greatest capital, and your ability to listen and respond in a way that shows thoughtful attention builds that credibility.

Empathy is simply one’s ability to share and understand the feelings of another. There are few things that can eliminate fear or improve the leader-team connection faster than having conversations that are initiated by an empathetic response from you. Empathy can help show respect, build trust and enable people to feel comfortable and safe while interacting with you.

Little things can make the biggest differences in the pursuit to improve employee engagement and workplace culture. Responding with empathy when appropriate costs nothing more than a few words and a few seconds of your time; however, the return can be huge.

As journalist Doug Larson is credited with saying, “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” As someone who has learned, deployed and refined my own listening skills over the years, I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Larson’s words.